THE world is a funny place, and it’s only getting crazier by the minute. Gone are the days of hopping onto the family llama for a quick trip downtown (if ever there were days like that); as a species, we are now more comfortable with being strapped into giant metal cans and flung towards the opposite end of the earth than ever before and that means that the world of travel has changed dramatically in the last couple of decades.
The local business’ lunch breaks are longer than their working hours.
If you haven’t ever set foot in Goa, you might think that I’m pulling your leg with this one but an afternoon here would be more than enough to assure you that I’m only slightly exaggerating – if at all. Goans are notorious for being aggressively protective of their “me time” and that still holds true in the numerous agricultural villages that dot the interior of the state.
If you’re a traveller from a far off land who’s risked life and limb just for the chance to soak up different cultures of the world then this common Goan trait would probably comes across as an endearing quirk more than anything, but when you live here and have to figure out how to drive thirty kilometres, locate all the items on your hopping list and pay for it in the fifteen minutes that the shops are actually open just so you can feed your family for another wek, the novelty of the situation wears off pretty quickly…
There’s a higher probability that the traffic jam you’re in is caused by stray cattle than an actual, motorized vehicle….
The next time you notice a hold-up on the highway, crane your neck just a bit to find the source of the problem and, chances are, it goes “moo!”
Not complaining, though; cows are far more reasonable than most drivers and so much cuter to look at.
There’s no need to set an alarm to wake up in the morning…because the bread man will do it for you. What exactly do I mean by the “bread man,” you ask? Well, he’s an employee of the local bakery who rounds your neighbourhood every morning from 05:30 am, selling fresh loaves door-to-door on his little blue bicycle. It’s a sweet concept till you factor in his INCREDIBLY LOUD horn that just WON’T SHUT UP so you end up throwing money at him for just a few seconds of silence even though everybody in your family prefers cereal for breakfast.
If it’s a business strategy, it’s working.
If you manage to build yourself an underground bunker just to escape the constant honks in the morning, don’t be so quick to congratulate yourself because if the bread man fails to rouse you.
Every third person you meet is a Fernandes
This may not seem as crazy as the other things on this list but when you’re struggling to remember whether “Mr Fernandes 24” is your grocer or the gynaecologist, life start to seem a little bit impossible.
With that, I think I’ve covered the main indicators that you’ve somehow landed up in my charming hometown. To summarise: if you’re sleep deprived from being woken up at the crack of dawn by a boy on a blue bike, if there’s a cow peering at you through your Hyundai’s passenger side window or if there’s a hen currently pecking through your left sock, you’ve arrived! Welcome to Goa!
For us at Planet-Goa, our team is driven by that feeling of exhilaration that one gets when discovering that something ‘unique’ and ‘new’ about Goa for our ever-so-discerning readers.
